Love, scientifically speaking, is not more than an illusion created by a mix of chemicals and hormones that produce the fuzzy feeling we feel in our heart for another person.
And, granted, the asexual love we feel for our friends and, to put in perspective, the humanity, is different than the love we feel for an intimate partner. The latter usually being magnetized by the lust we feel for them due to the bonding hormone we produce in very close intimacy, oxytocin.
Yet, philosophically speaking, there is more to love than the “feeling” we associate with its presence or lack.
Love is a choice. Love is a daily commitment to validating that choice with our actions. Love doesn’t fade, even when the sexual attraction begins to subside. Love is caring and always present, even we mourn and experience pain. Love is omnipresent. It exists in and for all of us. Love is our state of consciousness and is our responsibility to access and spread it generously to those we encounter.
A common misconception is that love just happens to us without us doing anything to attract it to our life. True, it is very possible (and frequently occurring) to meet a stranger that emanates magnetizing charm that pervades our imagination and succumbs us our hormonal state to a state of abiding arousal, also known as #infatuation.
Yet, technically speaking, we owe that attraction to the exchange of pheromones and our fantasy-subsconscious that is responsible for our perception of the ‘other’ as a highly compatible lover: which, by itself, does NOT necessarily translate to a long-lasting partnership compatibility!
In other words, in order to attract a relationship that lives beyond our present state of lack (as, very often, we get attracted to people that posses a quality we want, but don’t have) we must enter a state of mind that is already tuned to self-love and #compassion.
We cannot attract (or even witness love, even if is there in front of us) if we don’t feel as we can/want/or are ready for it.
#Love is everywhere around us. It is not a container that ever goes empty. And You, dear reader, have an equal share.
Before you start dating please first ask yourself:
- Are you ready to attract a thriving, loving relationship that fills us up from the inside out?
- A relationship that is not conditional and is ever-flowing?
- A loving relationship that is not selfish and is able to constantly invest love back, even after previous heartaches or breakups?
If the answer is YES then you must love yourself first before loving someone else. If the answer is NO then you must love yourself even more before loving someone else.
Here are my personal practices for self-love.
- Gratitude. Every day find a time in your day to be grateful for having a heart that can love and be loved by others. Live your life as you already have the intimate partner you desire. How would it be to have them in your life? How would you feel? How would you act? Imagine the excitement you will feel spending time with them or responding to their text message. Now send all of that ecstatic vibration back to your heart and thank the Universe for sending love your way, every day.)
- Spending time doing something you love. That’s an activity that is uniquely yours but I recommend you to do an activity that is independent on external stimuli and you can do by yourself. Check out my curate your happiness ritual article.
- Exercise and eat proper nutrition for your body. This one is SO important! You need to feel connected to your body to release stress and connect to your creative power (the same chakra – Svadhishthana – associated with our sexuality, fyi!). Eating an alkaline diet will help you to stay hydrated and more in tune with your body and heart. Loving your body brings you self-respect, confidence and a healthy sexuality.
The more love we feel for ourselves, and for the world around us, the more love we will attract to our lives.
Do you love yourself enough? Take a moment to reflect and be very honest with yourself…
~ With Love and Care,
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